Sunday, April 11, 2010

Book 21- Bite Me: A Love Story [#3]

I don't think the vampire genre speaks to me. I adore Christopher Moore- I have a literary love love love relationship with this author (I think his novel Fool is one of the best books EVER written) but I just finished the third in the "love story" vampire series, Bite Me: A Love Story.... and well, I think suffice it to say, it's not my favorite Christopher Moore novel.

We have the cast of characters from the previous two books (Bloodsucking Fiends, and You Suck) back in this newest adventure. Let me see if I can remotely summarize this... Chet the giant cat gets turned into a vampire kitty and reeks havoc on the city of San Francisco. So minion emo girl Abby Normal and her boyfriend Foo Dog (aka Steve) [aka the love monkey], the scientist are trying to save the city. Then Abby's gay goth BFF Jared accidentally ruptures the bronze tomb in which vampyres Jody and Tommy have been enshrouded and they come free to try and help save the city from the vampy kittys and other evil stuff. Cops Rivera and the gay Cavuto as well as the Animals, the Emperor and his men, and a few new badasses join forces to stop vampire rats, vampire kitties, and other dark evil stuff from happening.

Yeah, okay... that all sounds about right.

I adore Moore's penchant for the absurd, the outrageous, the crude, the bawdy, the snarky, the left field-ness of it all. But for me.... this book crossed the line. I didn't enjoy it all. I hated that the narration voice changed to Abby- written in totally OMFG Goth, emo whiny teen girl slang, you be-yotches! I work with kids like this, so reading it was.... work. And then it was a pure 'delight' (note Maggie being snarky) to read through the perspective of Marvin the corpse sniffing canine or Chet the vampyre kitty.

And there wasn't enough Jody and Tommy. And when Abby got her brief stint as Nosferatu I wanted to hurl the book across the room-- only it was new library book so I had to respect the pages.

When I read Moore, I know I'm in for a ride to the places of far-out-ness but this was too much. I hope he decides this is a trilogy and it's over. Dear goddess of darkness, please let it be over.

By the way, I'm not using this as my "Food for Thought" book... all food within these chapters was laced with blood... uh, yeah.

But hey Mr. Moore, if you read this, I still love your work, your mind, and think you're one of the most brilliant writers ever... and I would, like, totally be your love slave minion, OMFG, I so totally, like, would!